Who are you?

Hold on to me. I’m a little unsteady.

This new hit by the “X-Embassadors” has stuck to me since I watch Dancing with the Stars and Nyle Dimarco performed spectacularly with his beautiful partner. It was quite beautiful. Nyle’s performance can be found here. Nyle is a deaf man who won America’s next top model. He’s so risky that he decided to put on a blindfold in the semi-finals of DWTS. Insane.

Mr. Dimarco is a very inspirational man. I’m neither deaf or disabled; however, I am moved by him. Moving. That’s the quality that I want to possess.

Now – back to the song. The band sings about a shaky person who is addicted to alcohol. I’m not addicted to alcohol but I have an addiction. An addiction to running away from the important things in life. I think it’s fear. Unsteadiness.

You know… Something in life happened. When I was a sophomore in college, it started. I met Joe. I met someone who challenges me. Not just challenges me but provokes me. I was a decent guy who was making decent grades. Then he came along and challenged everything that I did and said. It made me better, I think. For 6 years he has fought and pushed me. Breaking points. Tears. Fighting. Pushing. Yelling. Fire. Cursing.

Along with all of that… Lots of prayer. Strengthening. Power. Love. Strides. He means so much to me and will never know. I’ll never know how to express my gratitude for those very important late night conversations.

I always wanted to go to law school but never imagined that it would be possible so quickly then he came along. Pushed me to be better. Pushed me to believe. Sometimes I wonder why it’s so hard. Will it be worth is in the years away? Being miserable in the best friendship I’ve ever had, is it worth it?

What will my career be? What will I do? What does the future hold? I have no clue. I wish I knew. I wish I knew what this law school admissions test will result to.

I love you, God. I love you for all the people you put me in my life. I love you for all the qualities you have me. I love you for improving me. I love you for the things that I can’t control. I will continue to work in your light and use the paths provided for me. I will continue to work on myself. I will continue to pray for myself and my future success.